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| These two have had a busy few hours. |
We took a deep dive into 1991's Beauty & the Beast and voted that it does, in fact, Live Up (which should shock nobody... this was the first ever animated movie nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars).
So now, let's take a deep dive into which of the furniture servants got the worst of the Enchantress's curse. As a reminder, they all worked in the castle when the supposedly 11 year old orphan prince brought this down on them. Some got it easier than others.
The Dog Footrest
Curse Impact: Minimal
Does the Footrest even know it's not a dog anymore? The Footrest happily runs around the castle barking its head off.
-Positive: This Footrest is like 70 years old in dog years and still bursting with energy. Bonus: nobody ever has to clean up its poop.
-Negative: Presumably this Footrest hasn't been on a proper walk in years. The rest of the furniture doesn't have the mobility to control it on a leash, and it doesn't seem like the Beast would take it anywhere.
Curse Impact: Significant
Cogsworth probably wasn't ever an athletic type, so his little shuffle-walk may not be a huge detriment to his lifestyle. He doesn't seem to miss the taste of food (because the furniture servants never eat)... or life's other pleasures... if you know what I mean.
-Positive: He can hold objects and even shoot a gun if needed. He still gets to wear fun hats.
-Negative: Others can reach on his back and wind the gears off his face... that looked painful!
Mrs Potts the Teapot
Curse Impact: Catastrophic
Mrs. Potts never complains, but good God! The curse took away her hands! She can't even wipe a spot off herself without help. She throws Chip into the bath with her nose!
Also, no woman wants to be an "apple" body shape for 10 years... it's totally unflattering.
-Positive: She rides a cart when she needs get somewhere fast (BUT! is the Cart another servant? Is she being picked up and carried by a coworker? What exactly is this situation?)
-Negative: She seems like she was a hugger. The no hands thing must be devastating.
Chip the Teacup
Curse Impact: Minor
Since the other kids in the castle are also teacups, Chip might just think this is a normal childhood. He seems to be having fun with it. He gets to blow tea bubbles. He's got a loving mother (grandmother?) and absolutely no work responsibilities for the duration of the curse.
-Positive: Nobody's watching him... they don't even notice when he sneaks out of the castle. He's like an 80's kid.
-Negative: That cupboard looks uncomfortable for sleeping.
The Wardrobe
Curse Impact: Catastrophic
Similar to Mrs. Potts, the Wardrobe got stuck with major accessibility issues and a massive body. When Belle first encounters her, it seems like she'd been sitting alone in that bedroom for years... probably in a state of depression about how unfair it all is. Think about it: the maids all turned into feather dusters and get to do dance routines in the dining room for the guests... The Wardrobe got stuck weighing half a ton and barely fits through doorframes. This curse sucks.
-Positive: She still gets to use fashion as a creative outlet.
-Negative: She's got parasitic moths living inside her.
Chef Bouche the Stove
Curse Impact: Significant
The Stove can't physically move, but as a chef he would have spent most of his time in the kitchen anyway so maybe there's little lost there. He still has use of his hands, and he gets to throw knives at intruders.
Given that the Stove could probably burn the place to the ground if he wanted... the fact that he hasn't makes it seems like he's doing okay.
-Positive: He also still gets to wear fun hats.
-Negative: He still gets furious when he slaves over a banquet and nobody eats it.
Lumiere the Candlestick
Curse Impact: Catastrophic
It may not seem like Lumiere got it that bad... he's hopping all over the castle, singing and dancing. But! This guy's a total horndog and he hasn't gotten any in the "ten years we've been rusting." He's constantly always asking when the spell will be broken... how about now?... is it broken yet?... how about now? Physically he's better off than some of his colleagues, but mentally, he's falling apart.
Like a candle in the wind.
-Positive: Charisma. Charm. Plus, the Beast always gets angry at Cogsworth for the stuff he does.
-Negative: Keeps accidentally burning his girlfriend.
Want to reminisce more about Beauty & the Beast? Check out our episode on the streaming service of your choice, or you can listen here:
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