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| Use the Schwartz on whoever greenlit the sequel. |
We reviewed Spaceballs, and it did not fully live up to our memories. It's a little like Napoleon Dynamite, where some lines are so endlessly quotable that you remember the whole movie that way... when really, there's going to be a lot of slower, unfunny bits in between.
Still, there are parts of this Star Wars parody that we still love: the Lone Starr and Barf the Mog bromance, the literal jokes and breaking of the 4th wall, the special effects, and of course, Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet. In fact, we like the latter so much, that we're turning the rest of this post into...
Spaceballs Funniest Bad Guy Ranking!
#8 Major Asshole and all his cousins
The Asshole family has a lot of male heirs... and they're all cross-eyed with bad aim. They don't do a whole lot in this film, but their surname delivers one solid punchline.
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| Nepo Babies |
#7 The Captain of the Guard
He captures the stunt doubles and nothing else. He only speaks a few words and appears for ten seconds... but we're just happy to see Stephen Tobolosky in this movie.
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| Bing! |
#6 Colonel Sandurz
Like the Assholes, the Colonel is mostly there for that finger-licking name joke. He does, however, get to spar with Dark Helmet over the plan of attack, the speed of the ship, and whether something is a radar or a coffee machine.
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| What's the matter? Chicken? |
#5 Radar Technician
Michael Winslow's radar technician makes all the bleeps, zips, and pings on the Spaceballs 1 ship. Honestly, he's just the coolest... we really hope he took the first escape pod and is chilling on a beach somewhere on Druidia.
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| Every 80s child's hero |
#4 Commanderette Zircon
With all the dick jokes crammed into this movie, Commanderette Zircon lands the best one of all with a simple smirk.
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| She knows if your schwartz is as big |
#3 President Skroob
He's creepy and inept and corrupt and an unpunished criminal... which frankly hits too close to home for us these days. But on the plus side, he's played by Mel Brooks.
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| Ew. |
#2 Pizza the Hutt
So ridiculous... so gross... it's perfect!
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| Pizza sends out for you. |
#1 Dark Helmet
Really, Dark Helmet is just an insecure middle manager... but for all of his posturing and threatening, he's just an exasperated dork.
Listen to our review of Spaceballs here, on YouTube, or on your favorite podcast streaming service.
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